Therapy
The elements that tend to support lasting change in therapy, including felt experience, safety, and practice.
Many people want therapy to lead to change that lasts beyond the therapy room. Several elements seem to contribute to this, and they work together.
Insight helps us understand why a pattern exists, and felt safety allows us to experience something different in the moment. I believe that a combination of the two helps a client create change more reliably than either alone. Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) is designed around both.
A corrective emotional experience is a moment in which you feel a vulnerable emotion and receive a response that is different from what you expected, such as understanding where you expected criticism. When these experiences are repeated, they gradually change how you relate to your own feelings and to other people.
New patterns are strengthened when they are practiced. This may involve noticing a reaction, naming a feeling, asking for what you need, or setting a boundary. Each attempt, including imperfect ones, gives the nervous system more evidence that a new way is possible.
The third stage of EFIT is consolidation, in which we notice, validate, and strengthen the ways you have changed and the greater security you have developed in yourself and in your relationships. This stage helps what you have learned to carry forward after therapy ends.
Change tends to arrive gradually, and returning to an old pattern under stress is common. What tends to matter is how quickly you notice it and how you respond to yourself afterward. You can read more about how long therapy takes and about the stages of EFIT.
A free 15-minute consultation call is a low-pressure way to start and to see whether we are a good fit.
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