Specialty · Secure Attachment
Attachment-focused therapy for adults who want trusting relationships with others and a steadier relationship with themselves.
Many of the clients I see already understand their patterns intellectually, and what tends to be missing is the felt experience of safety and trust. Secure attachment develops through experience, which includes relying on people, trusting that conflict does not mean abandonment, feeling allowed to have needs, and not having to manage everyone else in order to feel safe. These experiences can be built in adulthood, including in the relationship between client and therapist, and EFIT is designed around repeated corrective emotional experiences of exactly this kind.
Many adults also find that a secure sense of self includes learning to give yourself, consistently, the care and attention you did not reliably receive while growing up, and this can involve responding to your own pain with the same warmth you might offer someone you love.
What Progress Looks Like
Trusting good relationships without waiting for something to go wrong
Setting boundaries without fearing that it will end the relationship
Accepting support without needing to earn it first
Responding to conflict without assuming abandonment
A quieter inner critic that no longer runs the show
Resting without needing to justify it
How Therapy Helps
Change registers in the body as well as in how you describe yourself, so we slow down enough to find the feeling underneath a reaction and the need that it is pointing toward. For clients whose inner critic is loud and whose self-compassion feels out of reach, we build that capacity through direct practice in session, such as speaking from one part of yourself to another.
Old protective habits are treated as sensible, since they developed for a reason, usually to protect something younger and more vulnerable in you. We work on recognizing when a reactive part takes over and on strengthening a steadier part that can respond with more choice.
A free 15-minute consultation call is a low-pressure way to start and to see whether we are a good fit.
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