Anxiety
How perfectionism and anxiety reinforce one another and what tends to sit beneath them.
Perfectionism is often described as a drive for high standards, and for many people it also carries a fear of what happens if those standards are not met. That fear connects it closely to anxiety, because the possibility of making a mistake can feel threatening, and the effort to prevent mistakes can become exhausting.
A perfectionistic standard creates worry about falling short. The worry leads to extra effort, checking, or avoidance, and these bring temporary relief. Because relief depends on meeting the standard, the standard tends to rise, and the cycle continues. Success often brings little satisfaction, since the next task already feels like another test.
Many perfectionists learned early that approval depended on performance, or that mistakes carried a cost such as criticism, disappointment, or withdrawal. In Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT), perfectionism and anxiety are understood as secondary responses that protect against more vulnerable feelings such as shame, fear of rejection, and a longing to be valued as you are.
Practical strategies, such as setting limits on how long to work on something, can be useful. Lasting change usually also involves understanding what the standard protects you from, building tolerance for imperfection, and developing a sense of worth that does not depend on performance. A 2025 randomized controlled trial found that EFIT reduced anxiety, depression, and distress, and the same attention to emotion applies to perfectionism.
You can read more about anxiety therapy or about high-functioning anxiety.
A free 15-minute consultation call is a low-pressure way to start and to see whether we are a good fit.
Book a Consultation