Self-Doubt
How confidence and self-worth relate to one another and why building one does not always build the other.
Confidence and self-worth are often used interchangeably, and they describe different things. Confidence is usually about ability, the belief that you can do a particular task or handle a particular situation. Self-worth is about value, the sense that you matter and deserve care regardless of what you do.
A person can be highly capable and confident at work and still struggle with self-worth. They may feel secure in their skills and unsure whether they are lovable, or they may feel that their value depends on continued success. Building skills tends to increase confidence, and it does not always change a belief about worth that formed earlier.
When worth feels conditional, it rises and falls with achievement, appearance, or other people's approval. This can lead to perfectionism, overworking, difficulty with rest, and a strong reaction to criticism. Unconditional worth is the felt sense that you have value even when you fail, rest, or need help.
Self-worth is shaped by experiences of being valued, particularly in early relationships. When those experiences were inconsistent, a person can still build a stronger sense of worth in adulthood through new relationships that provide acceptance. Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) is designed around such experiences, using repeated corrective emotional experiences of attachment security in a steady therapeutic relationship.
You can read more about therapy for self-doubt and self-worth.
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