Anxious Attachment Strategies
How high sensitivity and anxious attachment strategies can overlap, and how to tell which is which.
Some people describe themselves as highly sensitive, meaning that they notice subtle changes in other people's moods, feel emotions strongly, and become overwhelmed more easily by noise, crowds, or intense situations. High sensitivity is a temperament trait that is described in the research literature, and it is not a disorder. Anxious attachment strategies are patterns that develop in relationships, and they can look very similar from the outside.
Both can involve picking up on small cues, such as a change in tone or a delayed reply, and both can lead to strong emotional reactions. A highly sensitive person who grew up in a relationship where emotions were dismissed or care was inconsistent may develop anxious attachment strategies, because a sensitive nervous system is quicker to register a threat to connection.
Sensitivity is usually present across many areas of life and does not depend on whether a relationship feels secure. Attachment strategies tend to become most active when closeness feels uncertain. Many people have a mix of both, which is part of why it can be helpful to think about them together and not to choose one label.
Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) assumes that every emotional response can be understood in the context of a person's life experience. Sensitivity is not treated as something to eliminate, and the goal is to help you feel your emotions with more steadiness, understand what they are telling you, and respond to yourself with care.
If you recognize yourself in this description, the page on emotional reactivity may also be relevant.
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