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Secure attachment develops through experience, relying on people, trusting that conflict doesn't mean abandonment, feeling allowed to have needs, and not having to manage everyone else to feel safe. Those experiences can be built in adulthood, including in the relationship between client and therapist.

Reparenting is one term for this, learning to give yourself, consistently, what you didn't reliably get growing up. It has nothing to do with blaming your parents.

What Progress Looks Like

Signs of a more secure way of relating

Trusting good relationships without waiting for something to go wrong

Setting boundaries without fearing it will end the relationship

Accepting support without needing to earn it first

Responding to conflict without assuming abandonment

A quieter inner critic that no longer runs the show

Resting without needing to justify it

01

Working experientially, not only analytically

Change registers in the nervous system, not only in how you describe yourself. When a reaction comes up, we slow down enough to find the feeling underneath it and what it's asking for.

02

Addressing self-criticism directly

For clients whose inner critic is loud and self-compassion feels inaccessible, we build that capacity through direct practice in session.

03

Treating protective habits as sensible, not problems to eliminate

Old patterns developed for a reason, usually to protect something younger and more vulnerable in you. We work on recognizing when that reactive part takes over, and strengthening a steadier part that can respond with more choice.

A Note on Training

Ongoing professional development

I'm currently pursuing additional post-graduate training in attachment-based, emotion-focused, and compassion-based therapeutic approaches, and I try to stay current with the research behind all of it. If you have questions about my training or supervision, I'm glad to answer them during a consultation call.

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Related Reading

What Secure Attachment Looks Like Day to Day →