The inner critic is the voice that evaluates, judges, and warns you about what you are doing wrong. For some people it is quiet and occasional, and for others it is constant and harsh, commenting on appearance, performance, relationships, and choices. Self-criticism is common among people who struggle with self-worth, perfectionism, and anxiety.

Why it develops

The inner critic usually has a history. Many people absorb the criticism they received, or they learn that being hard on themselves is a way to stay out of trouble, to be liked, or to avoid being hurt by someone else's judgment. In that sense the inner critic is often an attempt to protect, even though what it says can be painful.

What it can cover

In Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT), self-criticism is often understood as a secondary response, which means it can cover more vulnerable feelings such as shame, hurt, and a fear of not being enough. People with trauma histories in particular may struggle with shame, self-blame, and a sense of being defective, and these experiences make it difficult to approach their own emotions with kindness.

Why fighting it can backfire

Trying to silence or argue with the inner critic can turn into another round of self-criticism, such as criticizing yourself for being critical. A more helpful starting point is often curiosity about what the critic is afraid will happen if it stops.

Working with it in therapy

Over time, the critic often becomes quieter and less certain, and many clients find they can take in warmth and support more easily. You can read more about therapy for self-doubt and self-worth.

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Related Reading

Where Self-Doubt Comes From →

Rebuilding Self-Trust After Self-Doubt →

Perfectionism and Anxiety →